Charlton Lake, Oregon, first thing in the morning, before a beautiful trail run, then quick swim –ah, camping life
This past weekend Not-a-Bear and I donned our trail names once again and headed to the PCT –this time as trail angels, and weekend car campers, at Charlton Lake in the Willamette National Forest, near Bend, Oregon. The lake and campsites that surround it are on a lovely stretch of trail surrounded by tall pines and dotted with crystal clear lakes. We passed through the area last year at this time (about a week later), and figured there would probably be a good-sized pack of this year’s PCT thru hikers to feed.
We were right! We lost count, but we probably saw around 40 hikers in the two days were we there. We grilled up 60 hamburgers, 32 hot dogs, and 2 veggie burgers, and doled out 48 cans of soda (grape, strawberry, and cream soda were the hits, and favorites of mine on the trail), 72 beers, 2 bags of applies, 4 giant bags of potato chips, sour patch kids, a bag of baby carrots, and lots of baked goods –basically everything we craved as hikers. We didn’t bring any food back with us and ran out earlier than we’d expected.
We had a blast! For those of you unfamiliar with trail magic, it is when strangers give unexpected food to hikers. This could be in the form of a cooler by a trail head filled with cold soda, or cooking up an actual
fun time feeding new friends
meal. It is something you don’t expect on the trail, but is always appreciated, and often the pick-me-up you need at just the right time. Our highest compliments of the weekend were from hikers who told us they were having a really bad day until they saw our signs on the trail for burgers and beers, and then things picked up. I remember feeling the same.
finally got to break out the hammock we got as a wedding gift, thought I’d have more time to relax in it, but we were quite busy with our guests!
We really enjoyed chatting with this year’s hikers and learning about how different the trail is compared to last year. For one thing, they got a lot of snow in the Sierras and had some miserable sounding stories involving miles of snowfields, ice axes, and micro-spikes. I am glad that wasn’t us last year! 2015 was an exceptionally low snow year, followed by a pretty high one this year. This led to more water in sections that were very dry for us, but also an increase in mosquitoes. We had a small smokey campfire burning all weekend to keep them down, but when you left that circle you certainly felt them, and many hikers came in with bug netting covering their faces. The bugs were long gone last year at this time.
For us it was nostalgic to be hanging with hikers again (I didn’t even mind the smell!), and fun to live vicariously for the weekend. For me especially it was really nice to feel like I fit in, something I struggled with most of my own hike last year. I finally felt like I earned my trail cred. It felt good to be able to give advice to this year’s hikers, share our stories, and listen to theirs.
Deschutes River, near Bend
It was a great group of hikers, and just a perfect weekend, topped by heading into Bend on Sunday for the night. Since we ran out of food on Saturday, we left a little earlier than planned and had time to check out some of the sights around Newberry National Volcanic Monument, like Lava River Cave, a cave created by a hollowed out lava tube, and some rapids on the Deschutes River. Then we spent the afternoon and evening exploring McMenamin’s Old St. Francis School, a Catholic School beautifully and creatively restored to a hotel, complete with a soaking pool, several bars and restaurants, and even hidden rooms filled with very cool art work.
one of many really cool pieces of art at Old St. Francis School Hotel, Bend
Now we are home, back to the real world, but it was a great mini-vacation.
P.S. If you’d like to see some of the things I’ve been up to check out The Passion Project, especially the profile of potter, Amy Hepner, a thru-hiker we met on-trail last year. Subscribe to read about another creative thru hiker I met in the next installment.
Sometimes people ask, “What was it like?” after we tell them we hiked the PCT, the whole thing.
This is such a hard question, but my answer, in trying to convey an experience few people have had, is “Everything.” It is everything; all of the emotions, all of the things, happen on the trail, just very, very differently. It is wonderful, it is horrible, it is boring, it is painful, it is amazingly beautiful, sometimes it is all of these things at once. It is like life, a lifestyle. Even though my life now is very different from my life before the trail, both are so vastly different than on the trail.
And it does change you. And I do miss it. This is not me being romantic, because, as you read from my posts on trail, I really struggled and I was so relieved to be done with it. I still am. But now. Life is just different. It’s hard to explain the difference and it’s hard to explain the change. I will say, for me anyway, and it is different for everyone, it was very gradual. When I got off the trail, I got off it. I didn’t think about it much at all for the first three months (hence, the lack of blogging). I caught up on sleep. I enjoyed showering whenever I wanted, and flushing a toilet. I ate fresh vegetables. But now I am ready to start processing, and even, to start writing about it.
The Straight Facts, Post-trail
After making our way back to the states, we meandered by bus and train back to Oregon. We spent a few weeks in the small town of Oakridge in the big forest of the Willamette with my relatives, recharging, re-acclimating, trying not to eat everything in sight, and looking for our next steps. We found them in Eugene, still a temporary placement. I had a friend from grad school with a lovely little furnished mother-in-law apartment above his garage, perfect for us, since we had no furniture, no jobs, and didn’t want to commit to a lease when we didn’t know where we might find those things (the jobs mainly).
I soon found a temporary job at Barnes and Noble, as extra help for the holidays. I’d never worked retail, but I’d always secretly wanted to work in a bookstore, especially one with a coffee shop in it. I had a blast. Being surrounded by books and people who love them all day was fantastic. It was the leave-at-work job of my dreams –except for the minimum wage pay.
Exploring the Oregon Coast
During this time, Jason was searching for work. Since the field he was looking in was harder to find employment than mine, his job search would dictate where in the Pacific Northwest we would end up. After a few months of searching, he found a position in Walla Walla, Washington. He is now the new Conservation Director at Blue Mountain Land Trust. And we just spent our first full week living there.
It’s a sweet town of about 40,000, which is probably the right size for both of us (me, leaning towards larger, Jason leaning towards smaller, this a nice compromise in the middle). We have rented a lovely house right downtown, where we can walk to absolutely anything we need. Jason walks to work.
We came with no furniture and two car loads worth of stuff. So I spent the first week in the throes of nesting, trying to make a place that felt like a more permanent home. Something we hadn’t had for almost a year. I swung back and forth between enjoying this, and feeling a bit suffocated.
Walla Walla Valley
The feeling of buying all of the things again that we had just gotten rid of –everyday all this stuff– weighed me down a little more each day. There is a great lightness in your being when you are not weighed down by stuff, when you can pick up and move whenever, wherever you want. But, after a while, I focused on the enjoyment of this process instead. I had to, but also, it feels very good to have a place to come home to, to rest, to feel totally, well, at home.
The Facts that are Harder to Say
one of the hundred+ wineries in Walla Walla
So, that’s what we’ve been up to for the past few months. And now, I’ll tell another version of it, for me, anyway. Because Jason’s experience of the trail, on and off, has always been quite different than mine.
Like I said early, when I first got off the trail, I didn’t think much about it at all. It was so far removed from the reality of day-to-day life that it felt like a dream that I only remembered pieces of here and there. But as time went on, I began remembering more and more pieces, and found myself thinking about the trail more and more, even thinking of it fondly. Memory is funny like that; it somehow eases the bad and amplifies the good.
Now I didn’t miss everything about it, for sure. There was one morning recently that I was complaining of being tired and didn’t want to get up. Jason jokingly said, as he’d often say to me in earnest in the tent on a morning like that, “Come on Comet, we only have 20 miles to walk today.” And the relief I felt for that not being the case reminded me, also, how freeing it was for me not to be on the trail, not to have to hike everyday, whether I was tired or not (and every day you are).
It’s hard to put into words the change. But it’s there. It’s the little things that are probably easiest to explain. I don’t shower everyday any more, since I realized my skin and hair actually appreciate this. I look at food differently. I now believe antiperspirant is a placebo. The little concrete changes like that, I can explain. But some of it I just cannot. At least not now.
Palouse Falls, WA, on my 35th birthday, still rockin’ the puffy
In the last two weeks of the trail, I had convinced myself I finally knew why I’d done this god-awful thing, something that was bugging me from early on. I’d finally decided I did it because I was too afraid to do the thing I really wanted to do –quit my job, move out west, and pursue creativity. I needed a something in between. The trail gave me that. It gave me courage to face this next step, I thought. And in some ways, I was right. I am braver now. It is easier to face challenging tasks in the real world, because most of them aren’t as challenging as hiking 20+ miles on not enough sleep or calories, in elevation, or heat, or cold.
But, in another way I was wrong about why I hiked, and I didn’t realize this till just the other day. I did it just to do it. And that is enough. That’s the answer most people will give you. Most people will give this answer to you before, during, and after their hike. But it took me a little longer to figure it out for myself (for various struggles within my personality or astrology). But you do it just to do it, for the experience of the thing.
One of the things Jason would say to me on trail, to help keep me going, when I really wanted to quit, was that later, I would be glad I did it, or regret not doing it if I didn’t. This was something he couldn’t explain, but he just knew was true. It wasn’t great motivation at the time, but somehow it kept me going. And he’s completely right. I’m so glad I didn’t quit. I’m so glad I made it to Canada.
I don’t regret any mile I walked. I also don’t regret any mile of trail I didn’t walk. My little breaks for various reasons added up to missing about 500 miles of the 2,659-mile trail. But those missed miles allowed me to complete the trail, complete it my way. As Pink Floyd said in a song I heard for the first time on the trail, and was a great inspiration to me, “I’ll climb that hill in my own way.” I always seem to do just that.
attempting to make instant mashed potatoes a little healthier
This past week, in addition to our usual training at the gym and hiking, we added trying out the food we will be eating on the trail. For the last 5 days, we ate the foods we will be taking with us, and cooked it on our camp stove, even ate it out of our camp bowls with our sporks.
Now, we did not eat as much food as we will be eating on the trail. There is no way we can pack in that many calories with our normal daily activities, no matter how stressful my last week of work got. (Just kidding, it wasn’t that bad.) So, we were just trying out the types of foods, to see what we really liked, what got old fast, etc.
Here’s what I ate:
Breakfast: protein granola bars
Lunch: Cheezits, peanut butter, cheddar cheese
our stove and cook pot
Dinner: instant mashed potatoes most nights, and one night instant mac and cheese, with the following mixed in for variety: turkey jerky, chia seeds, pea protein powder, green food powder (lots of wheatgrass, spirulina, and other veggies), freeze dried green beans
Snacks: freeze dried apples, snap pea crisps, peanut butter
Jason ate a variation of the same, only with beef jerky and bacon jerky (yes, that is a thing, very salty!).
Here’s what I learned:
me eating lunch in my car at work, peanut butter on cheddar, yum!
I still could eat Cheezits every day of the week, but I don’t like them with peanut butter.
I don’t mind a spoonful of peanut butter for a mid-morning snack.
I quite enjoy using slices of cheese as “crackers” for the peanut butter for lunch (Instead of Cheezits, because those are just too delicious to eat with anything else. I may have a problem!)
I much preferred instant mashed potatoes to instant mac and cheese (this may surprise many).
Jerky isn’t so bad mixed in with stuff.
Freeze dried green beans are quite good and soften up in mashed potatoes.
We learned the best technique to stir water into instant mashed in a bowl that it just barely fits into (add a little powder, add a little water, repeat until full).
I did like the taste of the green food powders I was trying out. I’ll get a large bottle of it to divvy out in our food boxes to mail.
It takes about two days for my stomach to adjust to this new diet.
I’m gonna need a lot more snacks!
Another bit of training I’ve done that I haven’t yet mentioned is earning my orienteering badge –learning to use a compass, successfully read and better understand maps, and navigate a trail better. Jason is really an old pro at this, having earned his badge in boy scouts long ago, and can navigate quite well on and off trail in the world.
I, on the other hand, will admit, not so much. But I have successfully learned, I think, we’ll see; or hopefully, we’ll never have to see.
still lots of snow on our last hike! Though it’s finally starting to melt.
So, we have just about everything sold, stored, or packed into our car now. Next week we’ll be hitting the road! We’re driving to Oregon to drop off our car and stuff.
Fun stops we’re looking forward to on our road trip include the Upper Penninsula of Michigan, Badlands of South Dakota, and Mammoth Hot Springs in Yellowstone. Stayed tuned!
Any recommendations of things to see and do, places to eat? We’ll be taking the northern route, a lot of I-90.
See you on the road!
Round Top, Belgrade Lakes, Maine. If you look closely, you can see the snow flurries.
I want to get one thing straight – this is Catie’s blog. The voice of this blog is hers, and anything I write is pretty extraneous. You should view me as an interloper, sometimes imposing an irreverent and subversive voice on this otherwise serious and inspiring forum. But, since Catie was foolish enough to give me a login, I guess I’ll abuse that privilege until she changes the password. So I want to share a thought about this adventure.
As some of you may know, I hiked the Appalachian Trail when I was in college. It was an experience, and if you buy me a few beers I can tell AT stories all night. But along the way, one of my fellow thru-hikers wrote something important in a trailside journal. The point he made was, this is not an accomplishment. You’re not doing anything important by hiking this trail.
That sentiment was at odds with most of what I had been hearing, and thinking, up until then. Most people are impressed when they hear that you’re walking over 2,000 miles, and it’s hard not to be impressed with yourself. It’s easy to get sucked into thinking that a long hike like this is the fulfillment of something, and that it has some great significance. And that’s not totally false – I’m not going to argue with anybody who finds some meaning in hiking one of the long trails. But it’s not the whole story, and it’s equally true to say that we’re taking the summer off and going camping.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Doing things because they’re fun is… well, fun. And we fully expect this to be fun. Maybe we’ll feel different about life when we’re done, or gain some clarity. Or maybe we won’t. But it’s not important and it doesn’t make us special, and that’s worth remembering. Thru-hikers tend to be an elitist lot, disdainful of the “section hikers” and “weekenders” who aren’t doing what we’re doing, full of our own inflated sense of self-worth. But “everybody hikes their own hike,” as they say, and the fact that our hike is longer than most doesn’t make it any more important.
So, that’s my thought of the day. We’re not changing the world here. We’re not doing anything except going for a walk. And that’s okay, because it’s our walk. It’s the thing we’ve chosen to do with these next four or five months of our lives, because we think it will be fun. That’s more than enough reason to do anything. And to the family, friends, and trail angels who have and will support us on this hike with food, water, transportation, and a place to sleep, thank you. Because we’re not doing anything special to earn that consideration – we’re just taking the summer off and going camping. May we someday have the chance to offer you our equally undeserved support in whatever you choose to do.
You’re doing what on the what? We are thru hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. And if you don’t know what that means, read Part 1 here. Now I’ll continue the FAQ.
walking down to get the mail, practicing with my poles and pack
What’s the highest point on the trail?
Forrester Pass, at 13,153 feet in the Sierra Nevada. We hope to take a side trail to ascend Mt. Whitney, at 14,494 feet elevation, which would make it the highest point of our journey. It is also the highest point in the contiguous United States.
What’s the lowest point on the trail?
Cascade Locks, at 140 feet above sea level, in the Columbia River Gorge in Oregon.
How much will your packs weigh?
The base weight (base weight is everything you are carrying with you, including the weight of your pack, and excluding food and water) of my pack will probably be around 12 pounds. Jason’s will probably be around 15 pounds, because he is carrying the tent, and our cooking stuff. That means the full weight of our packs when we are headed out of resupply points will be me: 35 pounds, Jason: pushing 40 pounds. The further we hike away from resupply points the more food and water we consume; thus, the lighter our packs become.
How many miles a day will you hike?
We need to average about 17 miles per day in order to make it to the end of the trail before the snow falls in Washington. This average includes any zero days we’ll take. A zero day means a rest day; zero miles completed.
At the beginning we’ll start out at about 10 miles a day, slowly building closer to 20. Mileage will also depend on the terrain we’ll be traveling on for the day. We’ll make more miles during flat stretches, less when we are climbing in elevation. Making it to resupply points during post office and store hours is also a factor in how many miles a day we travel, and if we need to do laundry in town, etc.
multi-tasking -training while getting housework done!
How are you training for your hike?
It is the dead of winter right now in Maine, so although we are getting out to do some hiking, weather and work schedule prevent us from doing a lot. It’s pretty tough to simulate hiking miles and miles day after day. They say, the real training begins on Day 1 of the hike. Not until hiking the actual trail, do you really start to get in long-distance hiker shape.
That being said, there are still some things you can do to prepare, which, I feel, are pretty important. I am doing a lot of strength training, focusing on my core and legs. For those of you that don’t know, I tore my ACL last January, and will be about 1 year 1 month post knee surgery when we start the trail. So, for me, building the strength, balance, and confidence back up in my right leg has been very important. Luckily, I am friends with an amazing personal trainer who set me up with an awesome training program I have been doing for the last 10 weeks, increasing in difficulty as I get stronger.
This is what my weekly exercise plan looks like. Actually, this would be an ideal week, which hardly ever happens.
Strength training at the gym or a less intense home program, focusing on core and lower body, with a little upper body thrown in for good measure (2-3 times a week).
Endurance, which, when the weather is good, includes a hike. When it’s not, I spend a long time at the gym doing a combination of slow jogging, swimming, and biking (once a week).
Cardio Intervals. I usually do this on my strength days at the gym, but sometimes just by itself. I will do a combination of running on the track and treadmill (soon, with the extra daylight and warmer temps, I can start running outside again!), or a swim (2-3 times a week).
Rest day, at least once a week, but often, for various reasons, it’s more than that.
What else? We also wear our weighted packs around the house, while doing cooking or cleaning (I actually sweep more now that I’m wearing my pack!), or on walks down to our mailbox. I also have a pretty consistent yoga practice, which includes meditation. Although, I have to admit, since I’m exercising a lot more, some days this takes a back seat.
What has Jason been doing to train? Well, since he’s less schedule-oriented than I am, his training is a little (a lot) less regemented. He wears a heavily-weighted pack while pacing around the house, doing walking lunges, and various other strength exercises, runs on the treadmill a little, and of course, accompanies me on our hikes.
We also spend a lot of evenings reading books and blogs and researching for the journey as well.
Here’s a little more background on what the Pacific Crest Trail is and what we’ll be doing on it. I decided to write it in FAQ style, with questions I’ve been frequently asked; questions I frequently ask myself; and answers to some other interesting questions. Here ya go! (This got a little long, so I split it into two parts.)
Feel free to ask me more in the comments below and I will try to answer them in Part 2!
Note: I am, by far, not an expert on this subject. There are plenty of people who are, and you can find them through Google searches and some of the links provided below, like this one.
What is the Pacific Crest Trail?
The Pacific Crest Trail, or PCT for short, is a 2,650 mile trail that spans the states of California, Oregon and Washington. It starts at the Mexican border in Campo, CA and ends at the Canadian border in Washington. The trail usually runs along the ridgeline of the mountain ranges of the west coast. In California, it traverses the Laguna Mountains, San Jacinto Mountains, San Bernardino Range, San Gabriel Range, Sierra Nevada and other mountains, across the San Andreas Fault, through a stretch of the Mojave Desert, and parts of Yosemite National Park. Its Oregon section covers the Cascade Range, including Crater Lake, passing through lava fields, and near The Three Sisters Mountains and Mt. Hood. The trail crosses the Columbia River on the Bridge of the Gods going into Washington. In Washington, it climbs out of the Columbia River Gorge, continuing along the Cascades, with a close-up view of Mt. Rainer. The trail ends at the Canadian border, but has been extended for a seven mile stretch into Canada, requiring you to carry a passport to get back into the United States. This allows a quicker connection back to a road.
We are planning on the entire hike taking us between 4 ½ and 5 months. We will start our hike on April 19th and hope to finish sometime in September.
What will you do about food?
There are a few options for food. Typically, we will carry about 4-6 days worth of food in our packs between resupply points. A resupply point is a town, or sometimes only a small convenience store or post office that is off the trail. Resupply points are reached by walking or hitching a ride. Once we reach a resupply point, we will either stock up at a local store or pick up a package we have mailed ourselves ahead of time.
Not all towns along the trail have places to stock up on food, so often post offices and other places will hold packages for thru hikers. Some people put together all of their packages ahead of time and mail them out, or have someone else mail them as they go. We are choosing to resupply in town whenever we can, and do a few package drops that we mail ourselves along the way for more remote areas.
As for what we will eat, we have put together meal ideas that include highly calorie-dense foods that either do not require cooking, or are cooked quickly. Any “cooking” we do will be merely boiling water for instant foods on a little canister stove.
A sample menu for the day may look like this:
resting our packs during a lunch break on a recent training hike in snowy Maine
Breakfast: Protein bars or oatmeal
Lunch: Cheezits, peanut butter, cheese, pepperoni
Dinner: Instant mashed potatoes or instant mac and cheese with beef jerky, dried vegetables, and powdered milk mixed in
Snacks: bars, nuts, dried fruit, crackers
I also plan on carrying a good multi-vitamin, and spirulina powder and chia seeds to mix into things like oatmeal and instant potatoes for added nutrients.
And of course when we get into towns, we’ll pig out on whatever we want!
What will you do about water?
We are carrying a Sawyer Mini water filter to filter our water from streams, springs, etc. In the desert, we will often carry large amounts of water with us at a time, since water sources will be few and far between. We will also have iodine tablets as a back-up water treatment.
What about snakes, spiders, scorpions, bears, and crazy people?
These are all things one may encounter on the trail. Except for crazy people; that is a myth. As for the other creatures, they are typically not things you have to spend a lot of time worrying about. From my polling of many fellow hikers during my time in Arizona, I learned that rattle snakes never bite people unless you are drunk, or stupid; i.e. unless you provoke them. They do have a rattle that will warn you ahead of time, and you simply stay out of their way. They really want nothing to do with you.
The same goes for the other poisonous critters. You just watch out for them. Don’t put your hands in holes. Don’t put your feet in your shoes without checking.
Bears, again, typically want to leave you alone. You want to be cautious about protecting your food at night by hanging it or keeping it in a bear canister. In a portion of the trail through Yosemite, bear canisters are required.
trying out a tent at REI, not the one we got, a little too small, a little too expensive
On the trail, we will tent out at a combination of established camp sites, and wherever looks flat.
We’ll occasionally stay off the trail in places with actual beds, where we can also take showers, including hiker hostels, cheap motels, a couple splurgy hotels or resorts, and maybe with trail angels, and friends along the way.
What’s a trail angel?
A trail angel is someone who lives near the trail and helps out thru hikers, doing anything from giving them food, to a ride, to a place to stay, or maybe just words of encouragement.
Any other questions I should include in Part 2 next week? Jot them in the comments or shoot me an email.
Update (11/20/17): Wow, reading over that sample menu made me laugh! We ditched our stove and instant mashed potatoes (along with bear spray and other “essentials”) a couple weeks into the hike and never looked back! It made me realize how much you learn as you go on the trail. But reading good resources and thinking about pre-trip planning is helpful. Here’s another resource you might check out: Pacific Crest Trail 101, a good overview of the trail and things to think about as you start planning. But as always, you’ll have to hike your own hike.
So how did we come upon this crazy idea of ours to thru hike the Pacific Crest Trail? When we finally realized it was crazy not to.
A little bit before Christmas, we headed out into the woods to get away from the world, as we often do. We were heading to the falls we got married at. We hadn’t done this trail since that day, when we hiked in as boyfriend and girlfriend, and out as husband and wife. On this winter day, we reminisced about the wedding, and talked of how much had changed in the surroundings. The trail and falls looked completely different, covered in snow and ice, than they did five short months ago on that sunny summer day. Everything was different.
Poplar Stream Falls, winter
We began to talk about what we wanted our life to look like, which often begins with wild and crazy ideas, then narrows to more realistic (and boring) ones. We’d been talking about moving, either back to Portland (Maine) or to the west coast. Jason joked that we should walk to wherever we move instead of drive, and we got caught up in this fantasy of walking across the country. This has been our go-to fantasy when our jobs are feeling really tough, and we want an escape. At some point on our way back on the groomed snow trail, I asked aloud, “Well, if this is something we really want to do, why can’t we do it?” (This may have been more of a revelation to me than Jason, who was quicker to jump on board.)
Back home, the fantasy got a little more concrete as we began throwing around ideas of walking for a cause, and researching others who have walked across the country. We discovered it would take a little longer than we maybe wanted to be walking, and the routes weren’t always that scenic.
Then we began to throw around the idea of hiking a long trail. Jason had already hiked the Appalachian Trail, so that was out. It would have to be something new to both of us that we could experience together. I had just read Cheryl Strayed’s Wild (Yes, there, I said it, this wonderful book was, in part, my inspiration), and threw out the idea of the Pacific Crest Trail. We also looked at other trails like the Continental Divide Trail (a little more than I was ready for), or the Pacific Northwest Trail (a little less than we were looking for).
From that night on, our fantasy revolved around the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT, for short). We didn’t commit to any more than just toying around with the idea, but the more we both thought and talked about it, the more excited we became. In an attempt to shake a real answer out of me, Jason began telling me tales of how hard thru hiking is, what it is really like. I think he did this because he really wanted me to say yes to this, but wanted to really make sure I meant it, and wanted it.
I wanted it. The more I thought about it, the more sense it made. And when I say sense, I mean I felt it. It felt so right. During all of the previous thinking and planning out our next steps, ideas of places to move, jobs to apply to, I was riddled with indecision and anxiety. But with this plan, there was none of that. It settled into my brain so snugly, and then stretched out and relaxed there, until we both finally admitted this is what we had to do. We would quit our jobs, spend the summer hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, then stay out west at the end of it and see what will happen next.
I truly believe that one right decision leads to another. All my previous anxiety fell away, because those previous plans were not the right plans. I so strongly believe that if we continue saying yes to what our hearts want out of life, we’ll continue to be led to doors, and more doors we hadn’t even thought of will open up. So far, this has been true. Things are falling into place quite magically.
We also dropped the idea of doing this for some kind of cause –doing this because it is something we want to do in our life is the cause. This is another reason our plan feels so right. Jason and I are both coming to realize, for both separate and similar reasons, that neither of us are that suited for a “normal” life. (Let’s just admit it, neither one of us is that normal.) And I am finally completely ok with that.
This hike, then, is not an escape from “the real world.” This is the real world, lived out how we want to live it, not how convention dictates we should. We are both finally actively figuring out how we fit into the life that we make, rather than trying to fit into lives that society makes for us.
Since this decision, I have settled into feeling like myself in a way I haven’t felt for quite some time now. (It feels so good to be true to yourself.)
I’d like to leave you with one last thought –this lovely piece I came across while making the decision.
In the posts leading up to our hike, I will share what we’re doing to prepare for the hike; why packing and purging for a cross-country move is so liberating; and maybe even a sneak peak of what’s in my backpack (without getting gear-heady!); and what is the PCT anyway?
Stay tuned! Subscribe by email with the button at the bottom and never miss a post!